It happens to almost everyone. You unwrap a gift, smile, say thank you, and think: what am I going to do with this? An ugly sweater, a duplicate gadget, a candle in a scent that gives you a headache. Unwanted gifts are a normal part of Christmas, not a personal failing. What matters is handling them gracefully. Here is how to deal with unwanted gifts without hurting feelings or feeling guilty.
First: It Is Okay to Not Love Every Gift
Let us clear the air. Not loving a gift does not make you ungrateful. Gift-giving is hard, and even thoughtful people miss the mark. The giver wanted to make you happy; the fact that they missed does not erase the intention. You can appreciate the thought while still dealing practically with the object. Those two things coexist just fine.
Option 1: Return It
Returning is the most straightforward option, but it has the most etiquette landmines.
When Returning Is Fine
- You have a gift receipt. The giver included one, which is basically permission to exchange. Use it without guilt.
- It is the wrong size. Clothing that does not fit is universally understood as returnable. No one is offended.
- It is defective or broken. Obviously returnable. Mention it casually if asked: “The zipper was broken so I swapped it for one that works.”
- It is a duplicate. “I already had this exact one, so I exchanged it for the blue version” is completely reasonable.
Returning Etiquette
- Do not tell the giver unless asked. There is no need to announce a return. If they ask directly, be honest but kind: “It was not quite the right fit, so I exchanged it for something I will use all the time.”
- Act promptly. Most stores have 30 to 90 day return windows. Do not let it sit in a closet until it is too late.
- Keep tags and packaging. Until you decide, do not rip off tags or throw away the box. It preserves your options.
- Never return it to the giver. This should go without saying, but do not hand it back or leave it where they will find it.
How to Ask for a Receipt
If there is no gift receipt and you want to return, you have a few options. Many stores (Target, Walmart, Amazon) allow returns without a receipt for store credit, though policies vary. You can also say to the giver, weeks later and casually, “I loved the sweater! Do you remember where you got it? I want to check if they have it in another color.” This works best with close family, not acquaintances.
Option 2: Exchange It
Exchanging is often easier emotionally than returning because you end up with something from the same store, which feels less like a rejection. The etiquette is the same as returning: no need to announce it, act within the return window, and be gracious if asked.
Option 3: Donate It
Donating is a wonderful option for gifts that are perfectly good but just not for you. That candle you will never burn could make someone else's day.
Where to Donate
- Local charities and shelters. Homeless shelters, women's shelters, and refugee organizations often accept new or like-new items.
- Thrift stores. Goodwill, Salvation Army, and local thrift shops will take most items.
- Buy Nothing groups. These neighborhood groups on social media are perfect for giving items directly to someone who wants them.
- Regifting to charity drives. Many holiday toy drives and food banks accept new, unwrapped items well into January.
Donation Etiquette
- Do not donate in front of the giver. Obviously.
- It is fine to donate something unused. You are not obligated to use a gift to prove gratitude.
- Consider telling the giver for charitable gifts. If someone gave you a donation in your name and you would rather have the money go elsewhere, that is a conversation worth having honestly.
Option 4: Regift It
Regifting has a bad reputation it does not entirely deserve. Done thoughtfully, it is just efficient gift-giving. Done carelessly, it is a disaster.
When Regifting Works
- The item is brand new and unused. This is non-negotiable. Never regift something you have used.
- It suits the new recipient. The candle you hate might be perfect for your candle-loving friend. Match the gift to the person.
- There is no personal inscription. Check for monograms, engraved messages, or cards tucked inside.
- The original giver will never meet the new recipient. This is the golden rule. If there is any chance the two people will compare notes, do not do it.
Regifting Rules to Never Break
- Never regift within the same social circle.
- Never regift something handmade or personalized.
- Always rewrap completely with new paper, ribbon, and a new card.
- Check expiration dates on food, wine, and beauty products.
- If you feel even slightly uneasy about it, donate instead.
Option 5: Sell It
Selling an unwanted gift is the most practical option and the most awkward to think about. But consider this: the giver spent money hoping to make you happy. Converting an unused item into money you will actually use honors that intention better than letting it gather dust.
Where to Sell
- eBay or Facebook Marketplace. Best for electronics, collectibles, and brand-name items.
- Poshmark or Mercari. Great for clothing, shoes, and accessories.
- Local consignment shops. Less hassle than online selling for clothing and home goods.
- Gift card exchange sites. If you received a gift card you will not use, sites like CardCash let you sell it for close to face value.
Selling Etiquette
- Wait a reasonable time. Do not list it on eBay on December 26th where the giver might see it. Give it a few weeks.
- Never tell the giver. This is the one option where honesty is not the best policy. There is no kind way to say “I sold your gift.”
- Remove any identifying traces. Take your own photos, do not use the giver's gift photos, and remove any personal notes.
Option 6: Keep It (Strategically)
Sometimes the best move is to keep the gift, at least for a while. Consider keeping it if:
- The giver is elderly or very sensitive, and you see them often.
- It is displayed in their home when you visit (matching items create awkwardness).
- You might grow into it. Tastes change, and that weird art piece might look better in a different room.
- The sentimental value outweighs the practical annoyance. A handmade gift from a child is not really about the object.
You can always donate or regift later when the moment has passed. There is no deadline on deciding.
What NOT to Do
- Do not complain about the gift. Not to the giver, not on social media, not where it could get back to them.
- Do not leave it visibly unused. If the giver visits and sees their gift still in the box six months later, it stings. Store it out of sight.
- Do not lie elaborately. If asked, a simple “I use it all the time, thank you” is fine for small items. For big ones, gentle honesty is better than an obvious fib.
- Do not regift back to the original giver. It happens more often than you would think, usually by accident. Keep track.
The Bigger Picture
Unwanted gifts are a sign that gift-giving is hard, not that anyone failed. The kindest thing you can do is handle it quietly and without drama. Appreciate the intention, deal with the object practically, and put your energy into the relationships, not the stuff.
And if you want fewer unwanted gifts next year, consider sharing a wish list, suggesting a gift exchange with a theme, or having an honest conversation about preferences. Prevention is easier than disposal.
Heather Laprade is a gift-guide editor and product researcher with over 8 years of experience helping shoppers find the perfect presents. She has tested hundreds of products across categories from tech gadgets to cozy home goods, and her honest, hands-on reviews have guided thousands of holiday shoppers. When she's not hunting down the best gifts, Heather enjoys baking, hiking with her family, and wrapping presents (she's a bit of a perfectionist with the ribbon).
Our Final Pick
Every product above was chosen for quality, value, and gift-ability. Pick the one that matches their personality - you really can't go wrong.
